Your Spouse Filed for Divorce — What to Do Right Now
Being served with divorce papers is one of the most disorienting legal moments a person can experience. Whether it came as a complete surprise or you sensed it was coming, the paperwork in your hands means a legal process has already started, one with real deadlines, real consequences, and a court record that begins the moment your spouse filed.
What you do in the first thirty days matters more than most respondents realize, because decisions made under shock and without legal counsel have a way of shaping outcomes long after the initial panic has passed.
Here is what you need to know.
What Being Served Actually Means
When you are served with divorce papers, it means your spouse has formally filed a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage with the court. A case number exists. A judge has been assigned. The process is officially now underway, with or without your participation.
Understanding your rights as a divorce respondent starts with understanding what the documents require. The documents you received include a Summons, which tells you the deadline by which you must respond. In Colorado, a respondent typically has 21 days to file a formal Response if served in-state, or 35 days if served out of state. That Response is your legal voice in the proceeding. Read your Summons carefully and write that deadline down immediately.
What Happens If You Do Not Respond
If you do not file a Response by the deadline, your spouse can request a default judgment. That means the court can grant everything your spouse asked for in their Petition: property division, parenting arrangements, and spousal support, with no input from you at all.
Default judgments in divorce are difficult to undo. That court record follows both parties through every subsequent legal matter involving the same children, the same assets, and the same financial obligations. Missing the deadline is not a mistake you can easily explain away later.
Four Things Respondents Do in the First Week That Damage Their Case
These are the patterns that come up most often in practice, and they are almost always driven by the shock of the moment rather than any considered decision-making.
Leaving the marital home. Many people assume that once divorce is filed, one spouse should move out. Unless there is a genuine safety concern, do not vacate the marital home voluntarily before speaking with an attorney. Leaving can affect how courts view the property in division proceedings and, critically, can establish a de facto parenting schedule before any temporary orders are in place.
Posting on social media. Everything you post from the moment you are served is potentially discoverable evidence. Photos, comments, check-ins, and reactions have all been introduced in Colorado family law proceedings. Regardless of your privacy settings, put your accounts on pause until you have counsel.
Consulting a shared or family attorney. A single attorney cannot ethically represent both spouses in a dissolution. If anyone suggests you both use the same lawyer to “keep things simple,” that is not legal representation. A well-meaning friend or relative who practices in an unrelated area of law also cannot give you reliable family law advice.
Waiting because you are hoping it resolves itself. The legal process does not pause while you process the situation. Every day you delay is a day the other side’s attorney has been working. Your goal in the first week is not to have all the answers, it is to get an initial consultation scheduled before any deadlines pass.
How to Start Gathering Information
You do not need to have everything figured out before calling an attorney. What you need is information, not decisions.
Start locating and making copies of key documents: recent tax returns, bank and investment account statements, mortgage or lease documents, retirement account statements, and any prenuptial or postnuptial agreement. You do not need to analyze these, you need them accessible.
Also note any significant financial activity in the weeks leading up to you being served: large withdrawals, newly opened accounts, or property transfers. Courts take the financial picture at the time of filing seriously.
Write down, privately, the key facts of your marriage, your financial situation, and your primary concerns — your children, your home, your income, your retirement. Having this organized in advance will make your first attorney meeting significantly more productive.
What Your First Attorney Consultation Should Cover
Your first meeting with a family law attorney is not a commitment to litigation. It is an intake of your legal situation. A family law attorney will want to understand the basic facts of your marriage, its length, your financial picture, and your parenting situation if children are involved, and will help you understand what the Petition actually asks for.
Bring the documents you were served with, any financial records you have gathered, and your questions. Ask specifically about your timeline, about temporary orders (which can govern who remains in the home and whether interim support applies while the case is pending), and about what options exist outside of litigation.
Not every divorce has to be adversarial. What the law does require is that you show up for it on time, with counsel, and with a clear picture of where you stand.
April D. Jones, Esq. is the Founder and CEO of Jones Law Firm, PC, Colorado’s premier family law firm. A Super Lawyers honoree, and the first Black woman elected President of the Colorado Bar Association, she writes on leadership, legal innovation, and the future of AI in professional services.